Lili and Dragunov's 100 Drabbles
by Adelaide 'Adell' Peirce
Summary: 100 drabbles on Lili x Dragunov. Chapter 6 & 7: Snakes and Ladders and Transformice. R&R :D
1. Just One Kiss

Lili and Dragunov's 100 Drabbles

Summary: A hundred drabbles on the pairing Lili x Dragunov from different point of views. Rated T for alcohol consumption, cigarette use, violence and sexual themes.

Note: Their appearances here may not match the original outfit, because I am using my customized character outfits for their appearances. Lili wears dress hat, eye patch, teddy bear, shoes and socks with color 2 set to black. Meanwhile, Dragunov dons sabre with color 2 and 3 set to black.

Made this fanfic because I felt that the world needed more Lili x Dragunov.

* * *

**Just One Kiss**

_Just one kiss was all it took for the only daughter of a wealthy and pacifistic oil magnate to fall in love with him._

_Just one kiss was all it took for this pale warrior of SPETSNAZ to conclude that this girl was a complete lunatic._

_Just one kiss was all it took to silence everyone in the room._

_Because that one kiss happened between Emily Rochefort and Sergei Dragunov._

It was the day before the final battle of the King of the Iron Fist Tournament 5 between Jin Kazama and Jinpachi Mishima, and everyone was invited to a private restaurant owned by Mishima Zaibatsu in order to chill and relax, before the carnage and mayhem started. Everyone accepted the invitation, with different intentions in mind, though a few came to actually enjoy themselves… and Emily Rochefort was one of those few.

There she was, sitting on one of the red bar stools, leaning her head on her hand as she ignored the flamboyant and red headed Hwoarang's constant flirting, having been with him for the past hour or so, and Lili was getting quite tired of him. Ordering another shot of Bloody Mary, Lili tuned out Hwoarang's voice as she scanned the room for anything or anyone that may look particularly interesting.

A few tables away was her rival, Asuka Kazama, accompanied by Julia Chang, Ling Xiaoyu and the Chinese girl's pet panda. The three of them having a feast, being served by flirting male waiters, and having Ganryu pass by occasionally for reasons the girl did not know.

At another table was Kuma and Paul Phoenix were having an arm… er… arm and paw wrestling match, with Kuma loosing miserably due to lack of opposable thumbs, as drunken Lei, Steve and Craig cheered them on with coherent shouts.

Meanwhile, nearby, looking over Hwoarang's shoulder was Lee, flirting and whispering sweet nothings to Anna Williams, trying to ignore Nina's dark gaze as she sat across them, sipping something that oddly resembled a fictional potion, the liquid green and bubbling, a handgun hidden under the table on her lap.

But that was not what had caught the Monaco princess' eyes. She didn't care for Asuka and her friends, or for Kuma and Paul's squabbles, and completely ignored the whole scene with the Williams sisters.

What truly caught her eye was that lone figure, sitting silently drinking a mug of something that reminded her of beer at his table, with his dark military outfit and cool demeanor, Lili couldn't help but be entranced, as she stood up from her seat after downing her Bloody Mary, leaving Hwoarang to himself.

Walking to his table, Lili sat across him, not waiting for any invitation as she leaned forward, smiling at him.

"You are Sergei Dragunov, are you not?" the girl asked, earning a grunt from the Russian man as he continued to drink silently, his cold and dark eyes scrutinizing the odd girl that dared sit with him.

Lili giggled; "The silent type are we, Mister I'm-too-cool-to-care-and-only-answers-with-grunts?" Dragunov gave another 'Hn.' as the girl continued to babble, tuning her out, getting a dazed look in his eyes as he stared at his drink, earning another giggle from the blond.

By this time, some of the other fighters eyes were on the two, some curious as why the Monaco princess would seat with the Russian zombie, watching as Lili continued to giggle and babble, the man still completely ignoring her.

But, Lili wouldn't take this from anyone, and when she realized that her words fell on deaf ears, she quickly shot out her gloved hands and grabbed the Russian by the shoulder.

"Hey! Listen Mister Russian Zombie! I. AM. TALKING. TO. YOU. Can't you talk like a normal, living, breathing human being?!" she squealed, shaking the man out of his trance, earning a disapproving look from him, when he opened his mouth to speak, making the whole room silent and hold their breath.

"*Закрытый." Dragunov hissed, in his thick Russian accent, earning a smile from the girl, when what happened next stunned everyone in the room.

Emily "Lili" Rochefort, leaned forward from her side of the table, knocking the mug of Kvass with a sweep of her arm, and quickly heaving the man up to his feet as their lips met in a kiss.

The kiss was short and quick, but the awkward silence was not.

"How cute are you?" Lili giggled, letting him go, a quite embarrassed Dragunov sat back on his seat, burying his face in his hands as he felt a light blush paint his pale cheeks.

"*Глупая девочка." he grumbled.

_Just one kiss was all it took for the only daughter of a wealthy and pacifistic oil magnate to fall in love with him._

_Just one kiss was all it took for this pale warrior of SPETSNAZ to conclude that this girl was a complete lunatic._

_Just one kiss was all it took to silence everyone in the room._

_And that one kiss happened between Emily Rochefort and Sergei Dragunov._

_And they really liked it._

_

* * *

  
_

*Закрытый. = Shut Up.

* Глупая девочка. = Stupid Girl.

Read and Review!


	2. Two Sides of the Coin

Lili and Dragunov's 100 Drabbles

Summary: A hundred drabbles on the pairing Lili x Dragunov from different point of views. Rated T for alcohol consumption, cigarette use, violence and sexual themes.

Note: Their appearances here may not match the original outfit, because I am using my customized character outfits for their appearances. Lili wears dress hat, eye patch, teddy bear, shoes and socks with color 2 set to black. Meanwhile, Dragunov dons sabre with color 2 and 3 set to black.

Made this fanfic because I felt that the world needed more Lili x Dragunov.

* * *

**Two Sides of the Coin**

_He was feared because of his fighting prowess…_

_People cowered when they heard his name…_

_He was "The White Angel of Death" on the battlefield…_

_And yet… Here he was, reduced to babysitting a bunch of teenagers… Oh, the humiliation…_

Dragunov stood there in a corner, leaning his back on the wall with his arms crossed against his chest, wishing for something exciting and dangerous to happen because he was extremely bored. At the moment, he was in Emily Rochefort's room, or as she had quickly nagged him… Lili's room, glaring at the girly atmosphere that threatened to suffocate him, and he could almost imagine himself being sent into prison if this were to keep up, or worst… an asylum.

'_*Почему - я здесь снова?'_ he thought to himself irritably, before mentally jumping at the sound of squealing girls, which to him, sounded more like shrieking banshees, and had happened to overhear the conversation, just in time for the Kansai girl, Asuka, to rant about that jerk Jin for the umpteenth time.

"*そのジンのその神経! 何も起こらなかったように私の箱の上陸およびふりをすること! 馬鹿! 愚か者! 愚か者! 馬鹿! 死になさい! 私は彼が再度私彼を打ちのめすことを私が見るかどうか誓う! 私を聞くか。!" she screamed, slamming her fists on the table, spilling her glass of iced tea, before overturning the table out of rage as Xiaoyu and Lili jumped out of its way just in time.

Xiaoyu shook her head at this, hearing Asuka's rant and pouted; "*不要生金，阿苏卡的气。 我肯定他没有意味它。 他是一个好人。"receiving a withering look from the Japanese girl who just shrugged at this, knowing all too well of the girl's little crush on her cousin.

Lili, seeing the storm that was Asuka calming down, decided to join into the conversation once more; "Oh, I truly do not know what you see in that Jin person. He sounds awfully rude and perverted from what Asuka has said." she giggles, putting her gloved hand to her mouth, as the next few words just flew out of her mouth, and when she had realized it, it was too late; "He isn't at all like darling Sergei. Such a complete gentleman and such a handsome man too."

"*か。 ゾンビの人を好むか。! それはちょうど不可解なリリーである! あなたのために!" Asuka choked out, stifling a laugh as she clutched her sides, as well as earning a confused look from Xiaoyu; "*哼？ 我认为您喜欢Ganryu…"

Lili giggled at her friends, when a cough made her flush a deep red… The girls had completely forgotten that 'zombie man' was in the room…

"*Я иду. Теперь." Dragunov said in a dead pan, before marching out of Lili's room and slamming the door, even when Lili tried to chase after her, leaving a sad Lili, a confused Xiaoyu and the happiest Asuka that ever roamed the earth in the girly room.

Lili put a finger on her chin and piped up; "Was it something I said?"

* * *

*Почему - я здесь снова? – Why am I here again?

*そのジンのその神経! 何も起こらなかったように私の箱の上陸およびふりをすること! 馬鹿! 愚か者! 愚か者! 馬鹿! 死になさい! 私は彼が再度私彼を打ちのめすことを私が見るかどうか誓う! 私を聞くか。! - That nerve of that Jin! Landing on my chest and pretending as if nothing happened! Idiot! Fool! Fool! Idiot! Die! I swear if I see him again I will beat him up! You hear me?!

Note: Not the actual canon ending, but it was too funny to ignore.

*不要生金，阿苏卡的气。 我肯定他没有意味它。 他是一个好人。- Do not be mad at Jin, Asuka. I am sure he did not mean it. He is a good person.

* か。 ゾンビの人を好むか。! それはちょうど不可解なリリーである! あなたのために! – Eh! You like zombie man?! That's just weird Lili! Even for you!

*哼？ 我认为您喜欢Ganryu… - Huh? I thought you like Ganryu…

*Я иду. Теперь. – I'm going. Now.


	3. Third Times the Charm

Lili and Dragunov's 100 Drabbles

Summary: A hundred drabbles on the pairing Lili x Dragunov from different point of views. Rated T for alcohol consumption, cigarette use, violence and sexual themes.

Note: Their appearances here may not match the original outfit, because I am using my customized character outfits for their appearances. Lili wears dress hat, eye patch, teddy bear, shoes and socks with color 2 set to black. Meanwhile, Dragunov dons sabre with color 2 and 3 set to black.

Made this fanfic because I felt that the world needed more Lili x Dragunov.

* * *

**Third Time's the Charm**

_They say that if you're fighting for someone special, there's no way you can lose a fight._

Lili and Asuka, were fighting yet again, as the rich heiress had challenged her to a rematch, making it the third time this week. The Lolita girl had challenged her to a fight in a bar, bringing along Dragunov as a bodyguard / escort / _good luck charm. _In other words, the girl had wanted to show him how much she had improved when it came to fighting, having been with him for the past few months.

_They say if you think of that special someone, it'll motivate you to achieve your goal._

They were dating, according to the girl… Dragunov just saw her as an acquaintance's daughter that he was forced to look after.

_They say third time's the charm._

Dragunov watched the fight unfold, not caring what happened and was not going to do anything unless things got messy… And messy indeed was the word to describe the scene, as the two girls were at each others necks, clawing, pulling, biting and kicking.

_Too bad Dragunov didn't believe in such things._

Lili tried to jump out of the way as Asuka tackled her, straddling on the blond girl, as she pulled in her hands, raining punches on the Monaco princess as she tried to shield herself from the Kansai girl's attacks. The two continuing to battle it out, ignorant of the yells and cheers they received from drunken men and a few of the ladies in the establishment who thought they were a part of the gig and that it was all part of the act.

"*Как отвратительный..." the Russian army man hissed, about to turn around and leave the Monaco princess to fend for herself, thinking she could handle herself, when a collective gasp from the crowd made him look back, just in time to see the most… gruesome scene he had ever seen in his entire life, it almost made him go pale… er.

Asuka was growing weary and tired of the battle and saw an opening, with Lili pinned down and the girl screaming, she groaned to herself and thought; _'*__これは週の私の背部を離れて得る彼女を、… ものは何でも。 __私達__をこれを__終__えることを__許可__しなさい__。_'

The Kansai girl did not waste the opportunity as she held the girl's chin and dived in for a kiss, shocking everyone in the room, even making a few nose bleeds and some of the crowd to faint.

It was an understatement to say that Lili was shocked and angry, and things didn't go on as Asuka planned.

"You stole my first kiss! You idiot!" she shrieked, throwing the Japanese girl off her as the fight continued, and Dragunov could only sigh, as he turned around once again and left the troublesome women, wiping his nose with his glove to remove the blood.

* * *

* Как отвратительный...- How disgusting…

*これは週の私の背部を離れて得る彼女を、… ものは何でも。 私達をこれを終えることを許可しなさい。- This would get her off my back for weeks, but... Whatever. Let's end this.

**This Asuka x Lili x Dragunov chapter was requested by Gav, the Yuri loving fool… Darn him… Yuri lovers might as well kill me, the boy forcing poor me to make a frenchie scene for him…**


	4. Two Squared Equals Four

Lili and Dragunov's 100 Drabbles

Summary: A hundred drabbles on the pairing Lili x Dragunov from different point of views. Rated T for alcohol consumption, cigarette use, violence and sexual themes.

Note: Their appearances here may not match the original outfit, because I am using my customized character outfits for their appearances. Lili wears dress hat, eye patch, teddy bear, shoes and socks with color 2 set to black. Meanwhile, Dragunov dons sabre with color 2 and 3 set to black.

Made this fanfic because I felt that the world needed more Lili x Dragunov.

* * *

**Two Squared is Equal to Four**

_Dragunov doesn't really know why he is here again._

_He doesn't know why he accepted to babysit the Monaco Princess._

_But most of all… He doesn't know why of all people, Lili chose Hwoarang to tutor her with Math, especially when Lili had practically aced her Math exam…_

"그러니까 0 제곱은 0과 0의 제곱근이 2... 알겠는가?" the red headed Korean said, explaining the answer on a piece of paper as Lili nodded her head vigorously, a sheen of admiration glowing in her blue eyes, as she looked upon her handsome tutor.

"Ah! Now I understand! And to believe I was having such a hard time with this." Lili sighed, flipping her golden hair as she gave the man a smile.

" 보고 싶은가? 이는 지금 어렵지 않겠지요?"

"Yes. You made it quite easier for me to understand, Rang-kun." the girl smiled, making a circle on the desk with her finger, as she continued to flirt with the man, earning a blush from him as he scratched the back of his neck with a sheepish grin.

"그것은 실제로 아무것도 하지 않으며 , Lili." he laughed, failing to realize that Lili was a senior student, and this was not one of her subjects, the Korean man not really being good at Math… or anything school related in general.

Dragunov realized this though… Who teaches squares and square roots to a senior student? Especially a senior student who aces her Math exams? The Russian man couldn't help as one of his eyes twitched at this.

At the corner of her eye, Emily Rochefort saw that small movement. That tiny twitch the Russian man had done and knew her three part plan was a success. She had gotten Sergei Dragunov jealous, whether he realized it or not. Now all she needed was ask the Korean boy out for a date and make him even more jealous… And soon that Russian hottie will be hers… All hers…

* * *

* 그러니까 0 제곱은 0과 0의 제곱근이 2... 알겠는가? - So, two squared is equal to four, and the square root of four is two... Got it?

*보고 싶은가? 이는 지금 어렵지 않겠지요? - See? This isn't so hard now, is it?

*그것은 실제로 아무것도 하지 않으며 , Lili. - It was nothing really, Lili.

**This chapter is dedicated to Incomparable Insanity who suggested Hwoarang x Lili.**


	5. Five Minutes

Lili and Dragunov's 100 Drabbles

Summary: A hundred drabbles on the pairing Lili x Dragunov from different point of views. Rated T for alcohol consumption, cigarette use, violence and sexual themes.

Note: Their appearances here may not match the original outfit, because I am using my customized character outfits for their appearances. Lili wears dress hat, eye patch, teddy bear, shoes and socks with color 2 set to black. Meanwhile, Dragunov dons sabre with color 2 and 3 set to black.

Made this fanfic because I felt that the world needed more Lili x Dragunov.

* * *

**5 Minutes**

It was Dragunov's birthday- not that he cared, but Lili though a celebration, no matter how little, was in order.

That was why we could find the Monaco princess slaving away in front of an oven in the estate's kitchen, intent on making him a birthday cake all on her own. Well… Not entirely by herself, because Sebastian was there to help her, but you probably get the drift. Not to mention the chefs on duty, the fire department and an ambulance watching the blonde girl warily as she cooked from outside the door; the last time she had tried to make her father breakfast in bed during his birthday, she had burned down a huge part of their house… Not a very good memory to go by.

"Are you sure this is enough flour Sebastian?" Lili asked the loyal butler, who was wiping away at his forehead, both from the heat and his own nervousness.

The butler replied with a nod and a quick; "That is what the recipe tells you to do Miss Lili," which seemed to please her very much. She wanted to make this special for the Spetnaz and she had everything prepared, from the usual ingredients to the different colored icing; she planned on using them to decorate the cake with Russia's flag.

"Oh, I am sure Dragunov would love this," the blonde teen continued to say, lacing her hands together and putting on a pose as she went off into her own little day dream.

Oh she could just imagine, Dragunov walking into the room and she yelling "Surprise! Happy Birthday!" And he would see the cake she had made and realize how hard she had been working to make this for him- It would just be like that shoujo anime she and the other girls have watched just the other night, and he would take her into her arms, their faces would draw close and their lips would- Clang!

Lili was surprised as pots and pans fell to the floor, shattering her lovely dream- Sebastian was grabbing one of the baking pans to put the batter in; poor man had fallen from the stool he was standing on. This made the girl stop what she was doing to help the butler up and made her think; 'Would little slip ups like that ever happen to the Russian man?' and speaking of the Russian zombie… Where was he?

Well, Dragunov wasn't really all that far away, he was somewhere in the heart of the Rochefort estate. He was in the study, unmoving and not speaking, and that wasn't because he was Dragunov the Russian zombie. That was because he was tied to a chair, his mouth ducktaped and there was a ticking time bomb strapped to his chest. Some bastard had gotten to him; a really really really really REALLY, a million times really good hired goon that was sent to kill the Rocheforts (after all, you had to be really really really REALLY, a million times really good to even manage to catch the Spetnaz off guard).

He was fidgeting with the ropes that bound him and was managing to slowly work his way out, but he still had the bomb to take care of, and on that bomb, it read that he had five minutes to disarm it before the whole estate went sky high. Who in hell could get out of ropes and disarm a bomb in five-

"Five minutes! Make sure that cake is taken out after five minutes Miss Lili, or it'll be burnt," reminded the old butler.

"Of course, of course Sebastian." Lili pouted. "I would never do anything to ruin this day for my Sergy-poo."

Heedless to say, the people watching outside was mortified at the thought of the beautiful girl falling in love with that icicle, but she paid them no attention.

Four minutes… Dragunov was still struggling with the ropes, the perpetrator had made sure he was tied real tight; Lili was going on a day dream of how they would have two children one named after her and the other not named after Dragunov.

Three minutes, Dragunov managed to remove the ropes and ripped off the ducktape on his mouth, ignoring the sting and turned to the beeping, ticking box of doom tied to his chest; Lili was thinking which was a better color for their wedding, satin or periwinkle.

Two minutes, and Dragunov was able to find something to use to diffuse the bomb, but still wasn't sure which wire to cut… One wrong move could be mean his death and his getting fired from his job; Lili was deciding the venue for their honeymoon, as if they were going to get married next week.

One minute left before the bomb detonated and the cake was done, Dragunov was still choosing which wire to cut; Lili went off to the bathroom to use the toilet with the specific instruction that no one was to take the cake out of the oven except herself.

Sixty seconds.

Forty seconds.

Twenty seconds left, and Dragunov was poising to cut the red wire; Lili was just flushing the toilet.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

That exact second, the earth shook and something exploded. No, it wasn't the bomb; Dragunov managed to disarm it. This made Dragunov jump and run to the source. Was there another bomb in the place? And as soon as he found where the explosion took place, there was no bomb.

Yes, it was the oven and the kitchen was indeed filled with what was supposed to be cake. Lili was in front of him covered in red, blue and white icing, her blue eyes wide as she saw the catastrophe and when he saw Dragunov looking at her and staring.

"Happy Birthday?" she smiled, scratching the back of her head with a sheepish grin.

* * *

**Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry for this very late update, but I hope this one makes up for it. I had fun typing this one up. I'm probably going to make a chapter for Halloween even if its uber late, and a chapter for Christmas, and another for New Year, and definitely one on my birthday. Happy readings. :D**

**This has got to be my longest chapter yet BTW.**


	6. Six Sides of the Dice

Lili and Dragunov's 100 Drabbles

Summary: A hundred drabbles on the pairing Lili x Dragunov from different point of views. Rated T for alcohol consumption, cigarette use, violence and sexual themes.

Note: Their appearances here may not match the original outfit, because I am using my customized character outfits for their appearances. Lili wears dress hat, eye patch, teddy bear, shoes and socks with color 2 set to black. Meanwhile, Dragunov dons sabre with color 2 and 3 set to black.

Made this fanfic because I felt that the world needed more Lili x Dragunov.

Author's Notes: I have lost all will to use Babelfish since you'll be looking at the translation anyway. If something is in a different language, it would be bolded and italicized. Bolded words are in plain English, while italicized anything is in thoughts or narration. Oh, and Dragunov is special, so anything that does belong to him (speech or thoughts) are bolded and underlined, because he is cool like that. Did any of that make sense?

In short:

"_**blah" 'blah' **__– To minor characters who don't speak English_

"**blah" **– _English, usually Lili_

"**blah?" **– Russian via Dragunov

* * *

**6 Sides of the Dice**

They were playing one of those silly little children's board games- strangely and surprisingly, they had gotten the silent Russian warrior to play with them… It was 'snakes and ladders' to be exact. With them was Xiaoyu (and her pet Panda) as well as Kazuya Mishima…

_**"Don't ask…" **_Kazuya said in Japanese with an irked tone as Dragunov gave him a look… It was the normal look Dragunov had but there was that connection those stoic, grumpy guys had that made them understand each other. And yes, don't ask- because it is the authoress' fault and I wanted to put Kazuya in here… for no reason. AT. ALL.

Dragunov gave him another look that seemed to say; **"But I didn't even talk,"**while Kazuya returned a glare that hissed; _**"It's written all over your face." **_Dragunov only blinked, especially when the bubbly Chinese girl gave a cheer as she rolled the dice, getting a six and climbing a ladder that put her in first place.

Lili pouted at this; **"That's not fair. I should win," **but the Chinese girl only stood up and jumped around, patting her butt to tease the Monaco princess. **"Anyway, it is your turn, Draggy," **she sighed, giving the dice to the Spetnaz officer as Kazuya gave a small snicker at this exchange. Even as Dragunov gave her a cold glare, this did not faze the blonde who just gave him an even sweeter smile and batted her eyelashes.

Sergei wanted so much to crush the dice in his hand, but he was afraid that it was impossible- the Monaco princess had these dice made of diamond (and the board was made of high quality ore… platinum or gold I believe) after he had destroyed the last one… You see… Dragunov hated board games- or anything that required the use of the dice for that matter. Why? Well… See… Dragunov threw the dice furiously at the board and it, predictably, landed on a one- as usual. There was a tick in his eye as he saw this and he moved his piece once. He had been getting 'ones', 'twos' and 'threes' the entire game and was lagging behind the other players by a huge deal.

**"You'll get a higher roll next time, Draggy, don't worry." **Lili smiled, giving him a pat on the back, when the bubbly Chinese girl, Xiaoyu cut in; _**"That's the tenth time you told him that, Lili." **_This earned him a glare from both golden haired Monaco princess and zombie look-alike Russian spetnaz. Xiaoyu could handle Lili getting angry at her, but she was still a bit creeped out by Dragunov.

_**"Che. Women." **_Kazuya scoffed, rolling his eyes and throwing the dice, moving his piece five spaces forward and climbing up a flight of stairs.

Turn after turn, the others continued to make their way towards the finish line yet Dragunov's piece was barely half way through… And soon enough, all three were at the finish line; Dragunov, although he did not show it, was pissed.

_**"Can we go now? Sir-creepy-mccreeps-a-lot will never finish within the century even if he keeps rolling." **_Xiaoyu sighed, ready to get up on her feet when Lili pulled her back on her butt.

**"No! We'll watch him finish!" **she huffed, crossing her arms. **"No one is leaving until then; leave no man behind!"**

Sergei was a bit touched at the sentiment and was a bit irked as well that this stupid form of suffering would be prolonged. Still, he wasn't going to quit now that everyone had already finished, he took the dice and though silently; **'For Mother Russia'** and he threw the dice upwards – it seemed like everything was moving in slow motion for a few seconds before landing on the ground… He had rolled a six.

_**"It's the end of the world!"**_

** "Congratulations, Draggy!"**

Sergei could have wept, but he didn't, because he was too epic for that. He moved his piece six spaces forward until… a snake… it placed him back to the start. Everyone was speechless; well, Kazuya was trying to stifle his laughter.

The game didn't continue after then nor did they ever play another board game, especially after Sergei had taken both diamond dice and golden board, and proceeded to shove them down Kazuya's throat…

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**Update! Wooottttt! And to make up for the uber late update, I'm putting up two chapters.**


	7. Seven Little Mice

Lili and Dragunov's 100 Drabbles

Summary: A hundred drabbles on the pairing Lili x Dragunov from different point of views. Rated T for alcohol consumption, cigarette use, violence and sexual themes.

Note: Their appearances here may not match the original outfit, because I am using my customized character outfits for their appearances. Lili wears dress hat, eye patch, teddy bear, shoes and socks with color 2 set to black. Meanwhile, Dragunov dons sabre with color 2 and 3 set to black.

Made this fanfic because I felt that the world needed more Lili x Dragunov.

In short:

"**blah" **– _English, usually Lili_

"**blah?" **– Russian via Dragunov

I do not own Tekken and its characters, because if I did, Lili x Dragunov would be so canon. I also do not own Transformice… I can't even walljump… I wish I could… They are owned by whoever owns them.

* * *

**Seven Little Mice**

It was just a normal Saturday afternoon with Dragunov roaming the Rochefort household with nothing to do. He wasn't looking after Lili or her father, he definitely was not killing any enemy military spies nor was he avoiding Lili's disturbing attempts of "hooking up" with him… He did none of that today – or to be honest, for the past few days. Lili's presence was strangely… lacking and he had a lot of theories as to what happened to her, most of them including her being either kidnapped or killed; a comforting thought, although if that did happen, it would mean that he had failed his assignment and Sergei Dragunov NEVER failed an assignment, no matter what the cost.

**'Maybe… it would not hurt to check on that girl…'** he thought while walking, weighing the pros and cons in his mind and soon enough, he was walking down a familiar path and found himself in front of the Monaco princess' bedroom door. A lot of things presented itself in his mind as to why it was quiet… too quiet; which he confirmed when he pressed his ear on the wood and heard nothing at all when he should be hearing girl's giggling and screaming and chatting and a host of other things that made his stomach sick. He kept silent for a few more minutes, trying to focus on finding any sort of sound when he got what he wished for – and he wished he hadn't.

**"CHEEEESSSSEEEE~" **came the Rochefort's shrill cry, making the Spetnaz take his ear off the door before the banshee could do any further damage to his eardrums.

But, what in Mother Russia's name?

It didn't stop with the cheese thing; Sergei continued to hear Lili squealing about cute little mice and buying them cute little hats and cute little masks with the cute little cheese she had gathered. One more mention of the word 'cute' and Sergei would shoot himself. Was Lili Rochefort, THE Monaco Princess, taking care of pet rats? Rats, mice, hamsters, guinea pigs - they were all the same to the Spetnaz… things you stepped on, or were those cockroaches? Oh well. Still, if she died because of some vermin carried disease, the Russian would never hear the end of it. So he did what any good bodyguard would do, take out a gun and kick the door down, in case he needed to shoot some rats.

He didn't.

There were no rats, mice, hamsters, guinea pigs or even cockroaches to shoot. All there was in the room was Lili on her bed, staring intently at her silver laptop; a few furious presses of her keyboard before she pumped her fist into the air and yelled **"Cheeeseeee!" **once more. There was a tick in the Russian's eye, it was worse than any rat carried disease – the girl had gone crazy… well, crazier than before, in his honest opinion.

What had she gone crazy for?

Keyboard presses, little vermin and cheese… That's what. Maybe the girl hadn't notice him enter the room yet and maybe he had some time to walk away slowly and pretend that this never happened nor did he see this, AT ALL, but when you go breaking down doors, you're sure to get attention.

**"Oh hiiii, Draggy-poo; didn't see you there! Did you come to visit me?"** she smiled, beckoning him over and patting the cushion next to her… Dragunov's mind screamed at him to run to Russia and never come back, but he was frozen on the spot as if General Winter had followed him all the way to France. This was, definitely, a hundred times worse than any deadly mission he ever had and ever will have; he'd choose to be tied up, gagged and blindfolded with enemy soldiers pointing guns at him within point blank range over this – alas, he was never given the choice.

**"What ARE you doing?"** Sergei said slowly, because in his eyes, the Rochefort was still a stupid little girl.

**"Playing Transformice," **she replied with a giggle.

Transformice? …Transformers was that weird American film with alien cars from outer space turning into giant robots and weapons of mass destruction who went to earth for a new home, right? But, Transformice? What was this, France's version of Transformers with weird alien mice from outer space that turned into giant robots and weapons of mass destruction who went to earth… for cheese?

He did a one eighty turn and swiftly said **"Goodbye,"** and almost escaped when Lili ran over to him, glomping (Yes, GLOMPING) him from the behind.

**"Don't goooo, Draggy-pooo. It's fun, I'll show you!"** she squealed, tightening her hold on the Russian soldier's waist that he thought that this was a lot worse than having the life squeezed out of you in one of those trap rooms with the moving wall and spikes… Yeah; not to mention he had a split second to imagine that the thing holding him was not a girl but a giant Anaconda… He shuddered and was subsequently dragged to the bed, the French girl sitting beside him with the laptop.

On the screen were a lot of small mice scurrying around and getting… you guessed it, cheese. They had top hats, berets and other kinds of hats; some having similar headgears although only one (and later two) had a blue feather and blue face paint on their small mice bodies. Those blue ones seemed to be able to do juju. There were names and what seemed to be titles above their little mice heads. There were names like 'Asukakickass', 'Iluvpanda' and 'Capoeiramazter'; he spotted Lili's mouse immediately… It was named LiliDragunov and had the title Shaman Princess above it. **"Aren't they sooo cute?" **Lili squealed once more, into his ear, grabbing him by the shoulder and shaking him roughly…

Now where was that gun?

"**I know! I'll teach you how to play!"**

No, seriously, where was the gun?

Lili showed Dragunov how to play; it was easy enough and she even taught him how to make an anvil god while practicing in an empty stage, although he still couldn't jump the wall quickly and soon enough, he was playing on his own with the girl's insistence. **"So, what is the point of this?"** he asked, giving the girl a glance trying to get himself out of this silly situation and took his hands off the keyboard only for her to grab them and put them back there.

**"To get cheese," **she answered, as bubbly as before.

**"And what is the cheese for?"** he added in a dead pan.

Lili rolled her eyes as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Flipping her hair, she scoffed, **"For hats, for cheese and for glory of course! Everyone knows that, Draggy-poo; you need to get with the times, you know that?"**

**"And the Shaman?"**

** "To help the other mice to get hats, cheese and glory, duh."**

He blinked, returning his gaze to the screen – he was Shaman this time. And the other mice seemed to be excited for that.

"Pr0 Shmmy! W00t!", "Go Lil!", "SAVE US SHAMMY" and other similar things filled the screen. Dragunov now understood what this meant; their fate was in the palm of his hands… If he wasn't himself, he would have laughed… evilly. There were all on a small island in the middle of the screen, bottomless pits on either side and one little push would kill them all. KILL THEM ALL!

A few clicks and a few anvil later, Lili's eyes went wide only to make Sergei's small smirk get wider.

"OMG ANVIL GOD!"

"Run for it dood!"

"SPARTA!"

There was a smack and Sergei was not allowed to use the Lilidragunov account ever again. **"Now they'll blame me! And I was twenty saves away from Goddess Shaman, Draggy-poooo! I hate you!"**

Days later, Dragunov had made an account named 'Insovietrussia'.

* * *

**xDDDD I'm getting addicted to Transformice and with the thought of my two favorite Tekken characters to play them is epic.**

**If you wanna play with me, drop a message/review here, although I'm just new and I'm not very good. Can't wall jump and I suck at being Shaman. Trying to improve though. xD Username there is Adellpeirce.**


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